Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
