I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
