i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
