How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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