i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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