chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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