So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
