Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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