Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Every concussion has its silver lining
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
