My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
