My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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