I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
