dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
