Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I think I sprained my soul last night
I need moral support for this bender
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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