who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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