God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
