Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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