I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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