nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just saw a hot homeless man
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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