I seem to have left my pride at pride
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
