who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
