Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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