Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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