Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
