Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
