Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
