You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
