How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
