The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
