eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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