Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
