no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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