i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
