i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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