with your own penis?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
