I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
