I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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