The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
