am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
