Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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