I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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