guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
