Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
