Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
