Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Panties = found
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
