You work out of a Hotel?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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