Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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