How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize