Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
