i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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