if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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