Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
